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Presenter: Ladies and gentlemen we have the great pleasure in presenting a most exciting evening of entertainment here on Live IBN News. Yes, Who Wants to be a Crorepati has tonight in the hot seat the State Minister for Himachal Pradesh, Prem Dhumal, who has made news these last few weeks as the champion of the state laws for Himachal defending property rights of the people, the FCRA laws regarding illegal currency and the right of the state law over the Central Government. A very brave man, Mr Dhumal, and here you are wearing a Himachali cap and a khadi wool jacket, just like any shepherd in Himachal.

Dhumal: (waving his fist in the air) Yes, I believe in the right of the state to enforce its own laws and for the Centre not to come between. We know the case of the Karmapa Lama had the backing of US embassy. We know that foreign dollars also came into the cash haul and we are now investigating these suspicious links. We know the Karmapa Lama went to the US few years back and had regular meetings with important American officials, like the Mayor Blumberg of New York. So we are in the middle of our investigations and we need more time to establish all these suspicious links.

Presenter: Hain Hain, now we have a special jackpot here of 7 crore rupees in foreign currency and growing every moment that we speak. The currency is right here in this tin trunk and is in twenty denominations including clean Chinese yuan, in new serial number notes, US dollars, British sterling, Japanese Zen and dirty rupees. Never before has so much cash currency been in the jackpot to win if you can answer the 7 crore rupee question. Are you ready, Sri Prem Dhumal?

Dhumal: I am always ready to tell the truth and serve the people of Himachal.

Presenter: Here is the question. (Drum roll followed by grand display of fireworks)

Who is the owner of Gyatso Monastery?

A. The Karmapa Lama
B. The State Government
C. The Central Government
D. The Dalai Lama

Dhumal: I am very sure of the answer. In fact I don’t even have to call my friends Jagdish Bhatt and Naresh Kumar Sharma of Times of India to find out. I am completely confident. The answer is the Karmapa Lama.

Presenter: Final Answer? If you give the wrong answer you not only lose 7 crore rupees, you could also end your career in Tihar jail with a certain convicted state minister.

Dhumal: Yes, final answer. (waves his arms in the air, audience cheers and boos)

Presenter: Prem Dhumal, It’s the right answer!!! Congratulations. You have won the jackpot all here in this tin trunk. Now tell us what you are going to do with this huge cash haul.

Dhumal: I will enter the next general election for Prime Minister of India and meanwhile I will knock down Gyatso Monastery and replace it with a new five star hotel with swimming pool, ski lift and all facilities, for the people.

Two attendants enter in uniform to help Prem Dhumal carry out the tin trunk. They have trouble lifting it but are finally successful. Prem Dhumal follows the trunk to jeers and cheers from the audience.

Suddenly enter two armed police with batons and rifles.

Police: Prem Dhumal, you are hereby under the arrest for possession of unregistered foreign currency.

They put handcuffs on the startled Dhumal as he kicks and screams and drag him offstage.

Presenter: Wow, what an exciting evening. Now, that’s what I call real live entertainment.

Interruption from offstage as a Chinese construction worker enters escorted by Himachal police. The man speaks through an interpreter. “We have just cracked the code on the hard discs at Gyatso Monastery and we have found the evidence of spying you were suspecting. We found the name of the person who is receiving messages in Chinese. A lady called Kwan Yin which is a code name for Yuan Yen.”

Presenter: Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s all we have time for this evening. Join us next week for another round of Who wants to be a Crorepati. (mumbles and reaches for a cigarette) This is crazy. I’ve lost the plot.

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Naomi

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